A Ridiculous Blog on a Ridiculous Week

So if I were to say that in the space of one week, the Taylor-Bearman's had been to A&E three times, once via ambulance with an internal bleed, once for a potential secondary bleed and the other time a doctor rang and said to get to a&e for urgent blood screening on the same day that I did a talk to 400 school students.... I'm sure you'd think I was having you on... That it was impossible for so much to happen in one week...

Well I'm not...this has seriously been our week.

Since Samuel did his stem cell donation, we have certainly had a lot of drama in our lives but I wasn't expecting the ambulance in the early hours of the morning, only to return home the next day to then be readmitted twenty-four hours later.

He'd suffered an internal bleed following a routine endoscopy due to a condition called Bleeding Oesophageal Varices and we were lucky... Because it could have been incredibly serious.

It all gets so complicated when Samuel gets ill and it seems to be that when he does get ill (which is rare), it's always extreme. He cares for both of us so I have to use more spoons than usual to take over as main carer for Felicity.

We are very lucky because both sides of our family are really supportive. My in-laws have been incredible and have stayed over, cooked us food, and helped look after Felicity. My dad came to stay so he could help look after me, my sister and mum have been entertaining Felicity virtually and Tom literally gives the best medical advice.

But it's far from easy...

A few days ago I noticed that I was getting a lot of unexplained bruising all over my legs. All over my thighs, knees, the back of my calves and I had a rash on my pelvis. I thought I must be run down but as they continued to grow, I knew I needed to get them looked at.

So this morning (Thursday) I rang the doctors at 8 o'clock sharp. Having sent pictures of the various bruises, the doctor told me that they were concerning due to the type of bruises they were... And he thought I had an infection or possible shingles on my back!

I was told I needed to go to A&E for urgent blood tests and scans because of the clotting in my blood.

I couldn't believe it! Not today! Today I was meant to spend the day preparing for my debut talk for Speakers for Schools about accessibility in publishing. It was going to be a huge moment! It was a dream come true to become a speaker for them (especially with the incredible list of previous speakers).

The doctor had made me assure him that I'd go and let him know what they said. There was no getting away from it.

So I did my talk to 414 students across the UK on the little adrenaline I had left. It was incredible but towards the end I could feel myself flagging. Mainly because I knew that I needed to get to hospital and I had nothing left to give.

We left for the hospital as soon as the talk finished. The motion in the car on the way there had made me feel sick and my body was already aching with exhaustion.

And here I am now...in A&E where the triage nurse has already told me that there is nowhere for me to lie down, even though I told her I couldn't sit up for any longer...

Here I am now laying on trolley bed with the room spinning, having fainted whilst the lovely doctor put a cannula in and drained blood from my arm for twenty minutes to get enough to fill blood test tubes. It is still dead from the human torneque that the doctor had to create by squeezing my arm with his hands because the blood wouldn't leave my veins.

Here I am waiting to be told that my bruising was another anomaly, another thing that needed to be investigated by various specialists because they didn't understand what was going on with me.

And here I am, desperate to come home. Listening to my little girl screaming down the phone for me because she's never been without mummy at night time.

And I know that the doctor who is just about to enter my room, will be telling me that my energy has been wasted coming here tonight because they have no answers.

How could this have all happened in one week? I can already feel the payback brewing.